It takes a lot for me to find an establishment worthy of saying I will never eat there ever again.
Now I have.
A few colleagues and I went to Global Burger
on George Street for lunch. We dragged a couple of tables together out on the pavement to sit together and surveyed the menu. It had a fair variety of offerings and it all sounded pretty good.
I decided the Sydney sounded just up my alley - a crispy white fish fillet (barramundi) with vine ripe tomato relish, lettuce, tomato and lemon mayonnaise. After 20 minutes, our orders started arriving.
And this is the tricky bit: a colleague and I made the same order - the Sydney as a salad. A waitress after delivering the 3rdd burger to our table, asked who ordered the Sydney. My colleague and I said we both did. The waitress said 'oh' and went away.
Fourth burger arrived and the waitress again, asked who ordered the Sydney. My colleague and I started getting confused, but stressed again we had both ordered the Sydney, so there should be 2 Sydneys arriving.
Finally one Sydney arrived and I offered it to my colleague, who graciously accepted. The waitress however hovered around. We both looked up and then she explained that that was their last piece of fish - they had run out. Would I like to go to the counter to make a different order?
No, but seeing as I didn't have a choice and not the least bit impressed, I went to the counter and simply pointed to the burger on the top of the list: Bangkok. And I still didn't want the bun.
The waitress must've been new, so she called over another girl to help her key in this change in order. All the while, I am standing at the counter, wallet in hand, hungry, annoyed and not getting happier by the minute. By the end of it (a full 5 minutes), I am told I don't need the pay for the price difference since it was their boo-boo for not checking if they had run out and handed a new receipt.
By now, I'm pretty hungry, everyone else in the party is about halfway through their meals and all I have in front of me is a Bundaberg ginger beer to nurse.
20 minutes later, my lunch hour is just about up, everyone else have finished their meals and I am still hungry.
Sick and tired of this pathetic service, I head back to the counter to ask for my meal to go. And lucky me, my meal had just hit the counter.
You'd expect that putting the meal into a take-away box would take a maximum of 30 seconds.
From the glass reflection of their oven, I watched the chef dick around with the lettuce in that take-away box for at least 3 minutes - arranging this leaf and that until he was ready to shut the lid on the cardboard box, put it into a paperbag for the waitress to hand to me.
The worst part of it was the food didn't even make all that nonsense worth it. This is what I got:
Hardly an appetising sight, is it?
Now the Bangkok is advertised as Thai chilli chicken with pickled carrot, cucumber, coriander and sweet chilli sauce. Thai chilli? Nup. Coriander? Nada. Just about the only thing I could taste was sweet chilli sauce and if I had wanted to have just sauce for lunch, I would've gone to the nearby Asian grocer and bought myself a 1 litre bottle of the sauce. I ended up throwing away most of the salad, cuz most of it was limp.
Perhaps the most ironic is that its paperbag and box have printed: 'CAUTION - THIS BOX CONTAINS THE WORLDS BEST BURGER'