My parents disapprove of contacts. More specifically, my dad.
He believes that by wearing contacts, I will one day become blind from poking my eyeballs repeatedly.
Uh huh...

When I first discovered I needed optical wear at 16 years old, my parents immediately took me to get a pair that looked almost exactly like my dad's: huge, oval and gold framed.

Yes, bloody gold framed. If a casting director shoved me in a Hong Kong triad movie from the early 80s, I would've fit right in alongside Chow Yun Fatt in his shoulder-padded short sleeve jacket and retro sunglasses.

Desperate to look less nerdy, I visited the optometrist by myself when I started working full-time and started using contacts.

My failing eyesight was thankfully, not that failing and I was able to go about without glasses 90% of the time. I still can go without glasses 90% of the time, but contacts are much more convenient. You pop them in in the morning and take them out at night. No need to go on a treasure hunt for them when you need glasses.

However, now that I have to cook on a daily basis, there's a new challenge: how do I cut chilli and take out my contacts later?

... you know where this is leading already, don't you...

I cut 1 chilli into strips to toss in last night's stir-fry and immediately washed my hands with soap. After several hours and repeatedly washing my hands, I thought it would be ok for me to remove my contacts in preparation for bed.

It BURNS! (>_<)

My eye refused to open again for the next 10 minutes. It was going 'nuh-uh', despite soothing it with running cold water and saline solution. And its twin must've known the pain, cuz it wouldn't open very wide either. A problem for someone with slitty eyes like me. How am I supposed to see if my already-tiny eyes won't open much?!

And the contact lens were still in there...

Insert groping around the bathroom for something... anything... to help.
The solution turned out to be 2 cotton buds dipped in saline solution to pry the little plastic discs out.

Oh, and cry myself to sleep to help wash out the capsaicin.

Note to self: do not remove contacts with fingers an hour... 2 hours... or 3-4 hours after cutting chilli for dinner. EVER.