Dear ancient auntie, I know you would like to get further into the train carriage, but shoving your saggy boob into my elbow is not going to get you much further, cuz you're rounder than me and if I
can't get further, you jolly well won't be able to either.
Dear 20-something-woman, I know the train is rather cramped this morning, but your boob is in my elbow. While it's a very soft boob and encased in a lovely smooth knit top, but my elbow is not very turned-on at the moment. Kindly come again another day.
Today is apparently 'Shove your boob into night_child80
's elbow' Day.