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~NightChild~
So when are you planning to have kids? 
4th-Aug-2010 11:11 pm
sex
The SO and I have been together since 2002 (read: a bloody long time) and now married for the closing of 3 years now (read: holy shit! Has time flown that fast?!).

Now I know that after the first year of marriage, a couple can quite ordinarily expect people (especially relatives) to start asking 'so when are you planning to have kids?'. This is common practice amongst Chinese families in particular, one that I get quite annoyed with and depending on my mood at the time, may respond with the non-committal and simple 'no' or the ruder yet highly satisfying 'no, but we're having sex, thanks for asking'.

However I do not expect this from the Mumster. It's come to the point that if I make a phone call to the parentals (every other week or so), the very first thing she'll ask is if I'm calling with 'good news' (and she'll be saying it with the inverted commas too).

My knee-jerk reaction is to roll my eyes, grit my teeth and reply with: "No, I just missed you guys, so thought I would call. If I am, you'll be the first to know."

So let me put it out there in a 'radical' attempt to answer as many people out there who are curious about it, so they'll ask some other personal and invasive question:
  1. Yes, we do want kids, and;
  2. no, we don't know when we'll be blessed with one.


We can't exactly plan it, due to my highly irregular cycles (courtesy of mentioned Mumster) and we kinda like the whole SURPRISE! thing.

Besides, the very last thing I want to do is stress about it to the point of making sex a chore. Cuz you know, it really should remain a fun extra-curricular activity. (^___^)
Comments 
4th-Aug-2010 01:33 pm (UTC)
I tell people we're 'practicing' although we're not planning kids for at least 2 years (I'll be 35 so we're cutting it close)
5th-Aug-2010 03:22 am (UTC)
It's really all about when the couple feels ready to make that lifelong commitment to a whole new being, especially for women as much of the initial responsibility of bringing about new life falls on us.

And 35 years old for a first child is not that bad in our generation. Not when we no longer raise broods of 6 to 9 kids.
4th-Aug-2010 01:40 pm (UTC)
u can tell her 'the more you stress me abt grandkids the more unlikely it is you'll get them.'

just think...if you were back in sg, the interrogation on WHEN WHEN WHEN would be worse!
5th-Aug-2010 04:50 am (UTC)
That is becoming a very tempting thought, especially since she's started throwing in quips about how she's praying very hard for our first baby.

And I know! I give thanks for the little annoyances I've managed to dodge in being overseas.
4th-Aug-2010 06:46 pm (UTC)
Yeah not to get TMI but when we were "trying" for a baby we made the same decision...that it should still be fun and not a chore. Not even just to keep it fun, but so we could just enjoy the trying to make a baby experience and not make it stressful.
4th-Aug-2010 08:23 pm (UTC)
Not to mention, you want the financial stability and time to have a child because those things eat up a lot of both :)
5th-Aug-2010 02:25 am (UTC)
It's always like this!

First it is, when are you getting a boyfriend? Then when you did, Oh when are you getting married, and then once you are married, when are you having kids.

Never ending nagging!
5th-Aug-2010 05:48 am (UTC)
Thankfully I never got the 'getting a boyfriend' thing. If anything, my family thought I was too young to start dating at 18 years old.

The nagging must be an asian thing.
5th-Aug-2010 04:40 am (UTC)
It took a year of us actively trying to get pregnant before we got our first one. Believe me, your fear of sex becoming a chore is a very real one. Enjoy the ride, and stop calling your mom so much. When/if she notices and comments, you can say it's because her questions are stressing you out. :)
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